As my current job comes to a close, I wanted to take some time to pay tribute to the cast of characters that have been a part of my every day life for the past 4 months. Some are old friends, many are new, but they all have played a major role in this chapter of my life. And for that, I give you this blog entry.
Before I get to the supporting characters, I would like to quickly talk about one of the main characters of this story – New York City. I have worked in NY for the past 5 years or so and never had much to complain about. From Times Square to Lincoln Center it was always a joy to commute in to work. Then came this job. I have aptly named my foot commute from Port Authority to my building in Chelsea, the trek through Sketchytown NYC. Just to give an example of the joy I experience on any given day, today I was smooched at by a passing truck driver, my nostrils were punished by having to endure the smell of rotting fish while waiting to RUN across the street to get away, I was elbowed and rammed in the back while waiting for the elevator and was sprayed with a healthy amount of concrete. Thanks for kicking my ass today NYC. I can’t wait for the weekend.
Talking about the other main character, that being my current job, would be a waste of time and effort so on to the supporting roles. I’d like to begin with those kind people I share my 45 minute bus ride with every morning. Some are familiar faces and there are a healthy crop of newbies as well. Starting with an oldie but goodie, you have Eyelash lady. Eyelash lady is a middle-aged woman who likes to put her mascara on while the bus is in motion. She seems to have the time to put all the other makeup on in the morning but never that eye makeup. Maybe she loves the thrill of putting that mascara brush right next to her eyeball in a moving rickety bus. Ok, I’ve seen it done before. The kicker with Eyelash lady is what she does AFTER the 20 minute application of the makeup. Wait for it….. And remember she is on a very bumpy moving vehicle going 60 MPH. She whips out a sewing Needle and painstakingly separates EVERY lash. Stay tuned for the inevitable day she stabs herself in the eye. You know I’d have to blog about that bloody tale.
There are quite a lot of celebrities that ride the bus with me as well. Most notably are Paris Hilton, Paige Davis, and the guy who looks like he came out of a GQ ad. Oh wait, I mean the guy who thinks he looks like he came out of a GQ ad. Then there’s probably my favorite bus buddy, another oldie but goodie, Dr. Kovac from ER. A brooding handsome European, this guy is slightly older than the real Dr. Kovac but no less charming. I was melting in the back when he kindly offered assistance to a crazy woman who needed change to get on the bus. Oh, slightly older yet still charming Dr. Kovac look-a-like. How I adore you!
Let us now move on to the characters in the building where I work. I will kindly stay away from anyone I work directly with as you never know when you will meet again. Although for all of them, let’s hope not any time soon. There are quite a few celebrities in my building as well, most notably Betty Boop! Who would have thunk it! Alive and in person with a slightly smaller head. Transporting in our time machine a little further toward present day, we also have one of the members of the B-52s. Who said the Bee-hive hairdo was dead? Skipping ahead to present time, Dr. Lisa Cuddy is one of the newest characters to grace the halls of the office building. Say hello to Dr. House for me!
The most annoying characters at this particular setting in the story are the models. I mean come on ladies! Is there a better way to feel like a fat ugly slob than to be in a small elevator with 15 models whose legs are as tall as you are???? I think not! Every other day there is some kind of casting call across the hall. (Excuse the annoying rhyme.) I vote that the next commercial or ad they cast for, is an ad for incontinence. That sure would make me feel better.
Last but not least, we can’t forget about the charming people I get to see on a regular basis on my stroll through Sketchytown. Protecting and serving you have the always sweaty Dudley Do Right. We pass each other by the rail yards and every day I look in amazement at the fact that this lovely little man is a cop. I try to look more closely at his uniform to see if perhaps somewhere it says the word Library above the word Cop. Cause truthfully, that I would buy. Further down the route, you have The Professor. An oddly dressed scholarly looking fellow that looks strongly like Kevin Kline in the film In & Out but with more Gray hair and shorter pants. Generally, the last character I encounter on my way To work, is a lovely man named Buddha Belly. Buddha Belly was so named because one morning he was standing on the corner in front of the deli as he does every day, but he had his shirt rolled up and was rubbing his belly like you would rub the Buddha for good luck. He was hence forth called Buddha Belly. Buddha Belly hangs on the corner and babbles to himself and to passersby every morning. This is why I walk an extra block or two out of the way. I don’t have time to be roped in to a riveting intellectual conversation that early in the morning. And by early I mean 9:30.
I would like to conclude this entry with the final and most controversial character of the story. Of course I am talking about Mr. Shovel. If you are an avid follower of this blog, and who isn’t, you know all about Mr. Shovel. Thankfully, I think my one encounter with this kind gentleman is all I’m gonna get. I wonder whatever happened to him? I think of him every time I enter shovel territory.
Needless the say, I truly will miss journeying through Sketchytown NYC and my celebrity friends on the bus. With my luck however, I will be back there in no time. Um….help! Let’s hope for a less painful, less smelly, concrete free day tomorrow. I live for Fridays!!!!
Good Night and Happy Commuting.